a week away

Today marks one week left with the most amazing man that I have ever had the pleasure of being with.  He has truly made my life complete and now it is time to say goodbye.  Over the course of our relationship we have had our ups and downs, but no matter what life throws our way we have been able to handle it together and come out the other side stronger and even more in love.  He is not only my lover but he is my best friend.  We have laughed together, cried together, celebrated together and of course partied together!  He knows how to bring me out of my funks when I am acting stupid.  Even the day to day stresses are lightened by his antics.  I can't tell you how many times I have been pantsed! 

There was a time that I thought that I would never find someone that made me feel complete.  As far as I was concerned my son was going to be the only man in my life.  My three kids were all I needed and no man was going to live up to my standards so why even try.  Sure, I went out on dates, but no matter how successful or how cute they were, I wanted nothing to do with them.  I had been burned too bad by my marriage to even think about entering into another relationship.  Then he came along.  Here I was minding my own business trying to make in on my own in the cold of Wisconsin and along comes this random guy that perhaps I could be interested in.  When we first started talking I knew we were going to be great friends.  I was even willing to forgive him for being an Eagles AND a Phillies fan.  It wasn't until the first date that I knew this one was going to be different.  For starter's I actually wanted to see him again and that had not happened in years.  The rest is history...  Our history. 

Then there is our future -

What does the future bring?   I have no clue.  He is leaving not because he wants to, but because he has to.  That is the life of an Army Officer.  I knew this going to happen and I should have been more prepared for it.  I don't know if you really can though.  Now the question is what to do next.  I want to stay with him, but circumstances are keeping me here.  I don't know when I will be able to follow him or if I will even be able to at all.  I know he wants me there and he is always telling me that it is going to be alright and that the separation is not going to be very long, but I am a realist and I know better.  Okay so maybe it is the scared little girl in me that is preparing for the worst to prevent the pain from being completely unbearable.  I want nothing more than to be with him. 

For now I am just trying to enjoy this last bit of time that I have with him and make sure that every moment counts.  This time next week I will be by myself again.