I returned home last night to a very chilly house. Abigail exclaimed that she was glad to be home, which gives me the impression that she is truly settling in. Anyway for those of you that are looking for a meaningful post, you might as well leave this page now. This one is all about the gossip! It's been a while but I have some juicy tidbits to share...
So in a past post where I was completely feeling sorry for myself (I am allowed from time to time) I mentioned in a side bar that I was seeing someone. Well let's confirm the rumors, because yes, I am. I am not going to reveal his name but we can call him... "Mr. Big" Yeah, yeah, I know, I stole it from Sex in the City, but he is my Mr. Big. Ok, so here is the skinny on him: He is 9 years my senior which would make him 41, of Irish decent from Philly and an officer in Army. He has his own place off-post and a car that is paid for, so that would tend to lend one to thinking that he might just have some sense of independence. He makes good money so I don't have to support him. There are no crazy ex's which is always a plus. Oh, and he looks hot in his BDU's... :) So those are a few (and as much as I would like to blah, blah, blah about him, it is quite possible that this post would go on forever) of the technicalities, let's talk more about the emotional side....
He is probably, no definitely, the first man I have met in a long time (ex-spouse included) that has treated me this good. He is affectionate, passionate and hard working. When he looks at me there is true sincerity in his eyes and a concern that I have not felt before. I feel safe in his arms and would like to never leave them if that was at all possible. He lets me blab on about nothing and acts as though it is the most important conversation he has ever had. He holds me when I need to be held and makes me laugh when I need to lighten up. He is unlike any man I have ever dated before. He has a sense of maturity and capability with also maintaining childlike tendencies. My kids have met him and have spent some time around him. I want them to feel comfortable, but I have to tell that they took to him right away. Even Abigail who has anxiety issues felt right at home. I talked with them about me dating someone and everyone seems to be on board. Victoria said it the best, "we just want you to be happy, mom" Well kiddo, happy I am.
He is over today to spend the day with my clan while he finishes up some work on his laptop and I finish up the weekend duties of laundry and cleaning. He showed up with bags of groceries so that he could cook dinner for us. Meatballs is what is on the menu... I don't even care if taste horrible, just the fact that he is attempting to cook is a quality that I am not going to readily abandon. A man that can cook is well worth his weight in gold.
It all began with a lunch date and is now quickly turning into a wonderful romance. I knew it would be different when I left the date and actually wanted to see him again. Most of the time when I go out with someone I am annoyed and would like nothing more than to never see the guy again. This time, not so much. I feel like I am a better person when I am around him. He reminds me that there is really nothing to complain about and as long he is with me, I actually believe that. Of course it might also have something to to do with the really good beer he hands me when I start to get a little wound up. He totally gets me... he really does.
Now here is the kicker... I am thinking that I am not alone in my emotions because when he showed up his claddaugh ring went from facing out to facing in. For those that do not know the tradition of the Irish claddaugh ring, basically he has just signaled that he in now taken and his heart in no longer open for the taking. I am slightly apprehensive only because I have not been in a serious relationship for so long, not to mention one that made me this happy. One day at a time, Vanessa, one day at a time.
The only reservations that I have is that he is scheduled to transfer in August. Right now I am trying to just take it one day at a time (seems to be common theme at the moment) and not think about what I am going to have to deal with then. I am going to just enjoy the moment and go with the flow. Whatever is meant to happen will happen. I am living proof of that and I am thinking that I am just going to put this one right in God's hands along with the rest of my decisions and let him lead me where I am supposed to go. He has been very good to me so far and to not trust that He will continue to take care of me would be just plain dumb.
Sunday, November 28, 2010
Saturday, November 27, 2010
grateful
So here we are, it's Thanksgiving and that makes it the first holiday away from home. I am missing all my family back home, but now this is where I am so on some level there has to be a new sense of toegetherness with my own little clan.
We decided upon invitation that we would revisit the same cabin that started this whole transition. The last time we were here, the impression in my mind was that it would be a long, long time before we would ever be able to get up here again. Little did I know that it would only be a short six months and here we are yet again. The scenery is beautiful and the company even better. Thanksgiving could not have been a better time to make this journey. A time of contemplation and reflection, sitting beside a fire while snow falls gently outside. I might be mistaken, but I think I have just stepped in a Halmark Movie.
The kids have been sledding every chance they get and I have been grazing on tuirkey and snacks, set on truly earning those holiday pounds. There is a fierce ping-pong competition that I am now determined to dominate. Spending time with cousins that I should have grown up with, but due to circumstances that I could not control, did not. There is always a board game going and perhaps some cards. Mittens that look like snowballs and red rosy cheeks with runny noses is the best way for kids to be. Sleeping, that is the best part. I swear that I now look 10 years younger. The truth is that good sleep will do that to you. My skin is glowing and the dark, suken in circles that reside under my eyes normally have dissappeared. I feel refreshed. I have decided that staying her until spring would be the best idea in the world.
There are responsibilities that await me back in my sleepy little town of Sparta. Work needs to be done, bills need to be paid... Right now, they seem miles and miles away, just as they should. Meanwhile my time here has given me much. A renewed sense of security and comfort in my decision to move across the country to live in a place that I did not know with people that I have never met. It is all working out well. I don't think that I could have asked for a better place to raise my children or spend my days.
Yes, this Thanksgiving truly sets the tone for exactly why I made this crazy journey. It could have ended up so horribly, but instead it is fast becoming the most delightful time of my life.
We decided upon invitation that we would revisit the same cabin that started this whole transition. The last time we were here, the impression in my mind was that it would be a long, long time before we would ever be able to get up here again. Little did I know that it would only be a short six months and here we are yet again. The scenery is beautiful and the company even better. Thanksgiving could not have been a better time to make this journey. A time of contemplation and reflection, sitting beside a fire while snow falls gently outside. I might be mistaken, but I think I have just stepped in a Halmark Movie.
The kids have been sledding every chance they get and I have been grazing on tuirkey and snacks, set on truly earning those holiday pounds. There is a fierce ping-pong competition that I am now determined to dominate. Spending time with cousins that I should have grown up with, but due to circumstances that I could not control, did not. There is always a board game going and perhaps some cards. Mittens that look like snowballs and red rosy cheeks with runny noses is the best way for kids to be. Sleeping, that is the best part. I swear that I now look 10 years younger. The truth is that good sleep will do that to you. My skin is glowing and the dark, suken in circles that reside under my eyes normally have dissappeared. I feel refreshed. I have decided that staying her until spring would be the best idea in the world.
There are responsibilities that await me back in my sleepy little town of Sparta. Work needs to be done, bills need to be paid... Right now, they seem miles and miles away, just as they should. Meanwhile my time here has given me much. A renewed sense of security and comfort in my decision to move across the country to live in a place that I did not know with people that I have never met. It is all working out well. I don't think that I could have asked for a better place to raise my children or spend my days.
Yes, this Thanksgiving truly sets the tone for exactly why I made this crazy journey. It could have ended up so horribly, but instead it is fast becoming the most delightful time of my life.
Saturday, November 13, 2010
in the beginning...
So it was mentioned to me that some of you might not understand why I am in Wisconsin in the first place. I am going to take this time to present to you the events leading up to my butt being an icicle. (yes I understand it is only November and it is going to get much colder...)
This past July I was very graciously invited to my Aunt and Uncle's cabin in north Wisconsin. This is family that belongs on my paternal side. I had not seen them since the passing of my father 8 years ago. At first I was very nervous, Victoria had been but one year old and Abigail was literally a week or two old. Now I come equipped with three kids of the ages 9, 8, and 5. A considerable amount more to handle than the last time that we conviened. Also, I am a single mother now and have been through so much that I am not even close to the same person I was then. Oh well, they are going to have to like me anyway and if they don't, I am family and tough. They are stuck with me.
Of course all went well and I loved the area so much that I thought it might be nice to move to the Midwest. Thinking that this was just a pipe dream and the actual odds of me finding a job were next to nothing. When I got back home I began to apply for jobs in Minneapolis, Des Moines and a few at Ft McMcoy, WI. I really wanted to be in Minneapolis because of all the culture and The Mall of America, (oh and not to forget that is where my aunt and unlce live) but the pickings were slim there. Most applications were shots in the dark. I really don't know any of these jobs, but what the heck, if they hire me I can learn it later. Isn't that what Google is for???
Low and behold there opens up a position at Ft McCoy that is right up my alley. It has to do with something I did while I was active duty. So here we go! I start by revamping my resume, tailoring it completely to this position. The best part was I didn't have to "imbellish" anything! I had actually done this stuff... Well I click to submit and wait. I wait a very long time. I actually applied for the job at the end of July.
About a month later I hear a reply back... "You were not among the top candidates and your resume has not been submitted for review." REALLY??? Well alright then. I give up. I have now decided that it was not meant to be and that I am just going to stay in Texas and make it work there. Then September 14th I get an email from the Major that works there. He says he would like to interview me in two days. WHAT?
I give the interview of my life. I knew I nailed it and if I didn't get the job I was going to be very surprised. The next day I was offered the position to report in 30 days to the command. So that brings me here. We have had quite an adventure and sometimes I feel like I am on Mr. Toad's Wild Ride, but it is all worth it. I don't care about anything else but giving my babies the best that they deserve. I think that this move up here to the very very very cold is exactly what they needed. Now that I mention it, I think it is exactly what I needed too.
This past July I was very graciously invited to my Aunt and Uncle's cabin in north Wisconsin. This is family that belongs on my paternal side. I had not seen them since the passing of my father 8 years ago. At first I was very nervous, Victoria had been but one year old and Abigail was literally a week or two old. Now I come equipped with three kids of the ages 9, 8, and 5. A considerable amount more to handle than the last time that we conviened. Also, I am a single mother now and have been through so much that I am not even close to the same person I was then. Oh well, they are going to have to like me anyway and if they don't, I am family and tough. They are stuck with me.
Of course all went well and I loved the area so much that I thought it might be nice to move to the Midwest. Thinking that this was just a pipe dream and the actual odds of me finding a job were next to nothing. When I got back home I began to apply for jobs in Minneapolis, Des Moines and a few at Ft McMcoy, WI. I really wanted to be in Minneapolis because of all the culture and The Mall of America, (oh and not to forget that is where my aunt and unlce live) but the pickings were slim there. Most applications were shots in the dark. I really don't know any of these jobs, but what the heck, if they hire me I can learn it later. Isn't that what Google is for???
Low and behold there opens up a position at Ft McCoy that is right up my alley. It has to do with something I did while I was active duty. So here we go! I start by revamping my resume, tailoring it completely to this position. The best part was I didn't have to "imbellish" anything! I had actually done this stuff... Well I click to submit and wait. I wait a very long time. I actually applied for the job at the end of July.
About a month later I hear a reply back... "You were not among the top candidates and your resume has not been submitted for review." REALLY??? Well alright then. I give up. I have now decided that it was not meant to be and that I am just going to stay in Texas and make it work there. Then September 14th I get an email from the Major that works there. He says he would like to interview me in two days. WHAT?
I give the interview of my life. I knew I nailed it and if I didn't get the job I was going to be very surprised. The next day I was offered the position to report in 30 days to the command. So that brings me here. We have had quite an adventure and sometimes I feel like I am on Mr. Toad's Wild Ride, but it is all worth it. I don't care about anything else but giving my babies the best that they deserve. I think that this move up here to the very very very cold is exactly what they needed. Now that I mention it, I think it is exactly what I needed too.
Sunday, November 7, 2010
i was going to write, but now i don't want to
I was going to sit down and write about how my day was lovely. I was going to say how we went to church this morning, followed by a Sunday drive. I was going to tell you that the kids loved it and actually appreciated driving "in the middle of nowhere". I was going to write about how we had a nice lunch at Ginny's Cupboard in downtown Sparta and Nathaniel had the biggest PB and J that I ever saw. Then I was going to say something about how Abigail helped cook dinner and it was wonderful. I was even thinking about mentioning that all the chores were done and I put them all to bed completely content. This is the point at which I would explain how I got cozy downstairs in my giant bean bag chair to watch the Cowboys play. THIS is where it all changed. This is where I decided how I didn't feel like writing about the wonderful things that happened to me today. I don't even want to talk about the new guy that I have been having conversations with so that maybe someone could weigh in on how I should approach things. Nope, at this point I am lonely. While watching the game in my cowboys gear covered up with my cowboys blankie I started to think about home. The last game that I watched was with my dad. It is a sad feeling to know that you are all alone combined with the feeling that I am alone in my passion for my team kinda hit it home. I miss my family. There I was, curled up in the best seat in the house and all I could think about was the vastness of the space around me. Nobody else yelling at the TV or just sitting there quiet because the cowboys made another bad play. I love my team and without anyone to share that with, the reality of how much I love my family and how much I miss them was put right smack in front of my face. In a 52" plasma HD version. Perhaps tomorrow I will feel like writing about the wonderful things that happened. I sure as hell don't today.
Saturday, November 6, 2010
the first weekend in november
We have now begun November. The skies are grey a little more and it drizzled a little this week. Hasn't really affected the kids much though. Today Victoria wore shorts with her winter coat. She never complained of being cold and I didn't ask her if she was.
Last night we had a really nice pizza/movie night. I found this little Italian place that has crazy Italians working there. Really? In Wisconsin? Don't question it, just accept it. Anyway they deliver and we ordered a thin cheese and deep dish special (has everything but the kitchen sink on it). Delicious! I cranked up the heater downstairs and we hung out on the bean bag chairs watching Toy Story 3. It was a really enjoyable night.
Today was lovely as well. We slept in, which does wonders for people's moods around here. When we got up we headed into LaCrosse, which is were Abigail does gymnastics so that she could go to open gym. The drive is about 30 minutes, but it is a nice scenic, relaxing drive. I dropped her off and headed out to do some shopping. Got some things for me to wear to work and a few items for the house. When I went to pick her up, the director of the gymnastics program stopped me and asked me if we would consider Abigail joining the level four team mid-season. Came as a surprise, but apparantly the level 4 coach was working with her during open gym and decided that she would like for her to compete. She is excited and really proud of herself that she got to walk on the team after 2 weeks when there is no room on it. After we finished up there, off we went to do some grocery shopping at a place called Woodmans. It is not a fancy place, but they have a lot of variety and we left there with a few treasures. (More on that tomorrow!)
On our way home we noticed that there seemed to be something going on at the high school around the corner from our house. Upon investigation we discovered that it was a craft fair!!! Oh My!!! We hurried up and dropped of the groceries and walked, that's right, walked over to check it out. It was soooo fabulous!!! We didn't buy too much, but man were there a lot of venders! I think there were more there than at the Country Peddler back home! Anyway it was great and we had a lot of fun there.
After we left the school we went "downtown" Sparta to do some shopping there. I found some really cute Keen shoes at a shoe store that has been there since 1902! The place was just charming and the service was just as it should be. We also hit Mike's TV and Furniture store (whose slogan is "The Other furniture store in Sparta") Victoria picked out her bedroom suite and I had to laugh. I know we are in the middle of the woods so to speak, but she wants to live the whole experience. She picked out the pine log furniture. The kind that looks like a beaver put it together. Whatever makes her happy, I guess... it should be here in about 2 months. While we were there I found the biggest, greenest bean bag chair ever! It now lives in the rec room downstairs. Oh yeah, I dubbed the living room downstairs the rec room since it is becoming increasingly dedicated to family fun.
I love that we are getting settled in nicely more and more with each passing week.
Last night we had a really nice pizza/movie night. I found this little Italian place that has crazy Italians working there. Really? In Wisconsin? Don't question it, just accept it. Anyway they deliver and we ordered a thin cheese and deep dish special (has everything but the kitchen sink on it). Delicious! I cranked up the heater downstairs and we hung out on the bean bag chairs watching Toy Story 3. It was a really enjoyable night.
Today was lovely as well. We slept in, which does wonders for people's moods around here. When we got up we headed into LaCrosse, which is were Abigail does gymnastics so that she could go to open gym. The drive is about 30 minutes, but it is a nice scenic, relaxing drive. I dropped her off and headed out to do some shopping. Got some things for me to wear to work and a few items for the house. When I went to pick her up, the director of the gymnastics program stopped me and asked me if we would consider Abigail joining the level four team mid-season. Came as a surprise, but apparantly the level 4 coach was working with her during open gym and decided that she would like for her to compete. She is excited and really proud of herself that she got to walk on the team after 2 weeks when there is no room on it. After we finished up there, off we went to do some grocery shopping at a place called Woodmans. It is not a fancy place, but they have a lot of variety and we left there with a few treasures. (More on that tomorrow!)
On our way home we noticed that there seemed to be something going on at the high school around the corner from our house. Upon investigation we discovered that it was a craft fair!!! Oh My!!! We hurried up and dropped of the groceries and walked, that's right, walked over to check it out. It was soooo fabulous!!! We didn't buy too much, but man were there a lot of venders! I think there were more there than at the Country Peddler back home! Anyway it was great and we had a lot of fun there.
After we left the school we went "downtown" Sparta to do some shopping there. I found some really cute Keen shoes at a shoe store that has been there since 1902! The place was just charming and the service was just as it should be. We also hit Mike's TV and Furniture store (whose slogan is "The Other furniture store in Sparta") Victoria picked out her bedroom suite and I had to laugh. I know we are in the middle of the woods so to speak, but she wants to live the whole experience. She picked out the pine log furniture. The kind that looks like a beaver put it together. Whatever makes her happy, I guess... it should be here in about 2 months. While we were there I found the biggest, greenest bean bag chair ever! It now lives in the rec room downstairs. Oh yeah, I dubbed the living room downstairs the rec room since it is becoming increasingly dedicated to family fun.
I love that we are getting settled in nicely more and more with each passing week.
Wednesday, November 3, 2010
halfway through week two
So now we are halfway through week two. While the weather has been calm and absolutely gorgeous inside my house has been a little more chaotic than I would normally prefer.
The kids seem to think that since we are not at Grandma's house anymore that all rules no longer apply. We can leave our clothes in the middle of the floor, shove things in the corner of our room as if Mom is never going to step more than two feet in, not finish our dinner and my favorite which is whine for EVERYTHING. Homework is getting to be an issue now as well. While I am positive that they are fully capable of bringing home all that they need and even starting, if not finishing, homework at aftercare - this concept is slipping thie children's minds. Anyway we all had a nice discussion at the kitchen table tonight so that I could impress upon them the importance of keeping their butts in line. I love them beyond the ends of the earth, but God Bless!! Ugh.
Tomorrow is a new day and I am going to approach it as such. I was listening to the radio on the way to work and there was a conversation about a list that came out. It had to do with a survey that someone did asking "older" americans what it takes to live a long and happy life. On the list there were things like - "do not go to bed angry at your spouse OR yourself" - "do not worry about money" - "if you smoke or drink, do not worry about it, just eat healthy and stay active" - the one that sticks out the most in my mind was "have a lot of children".
The kids seem to think that since we are not at Grandma's house anymore that all rules no longer apply. We can leave our clothes in the middle of the floor, shove things in the corner of our room as if Mom is never going to step more than two feet in, not finish our dinner and my favorite which is whine for EVERYTHING. Homework is getting to be an issue now as well. While I am positive that they are fully capable of bringing home all that they need and even starting, if not finishing, homework at aftercare - this concept is slipping thie children's minds. Anyway we all had a nice discussion at the kitchen table tonight so that I could impress upon them the importance of keeping their butts in line. I love them beyond the ends of the earth, but God Bless!! Ugh.
Tomorrow is a new day and I am going to approach it as such. I was listening to the radio on the way to work and there was a conversation about a list that came out. It had to do with a survey that someone did asking "older" americans what it takes to live a long and happy life. On the list there were things like - "do not go to bed angry at your spouse OR yourself" - "do not worry about money" - "if you smoke or drink, do not worry about it, just eat healthy and stay active" - the one that sticks out the most in my mind was "have a lot of children".
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